women over 50 dating

Your World. Your Love. Dating woman over 50. The older you get, the more difficult it would be to start a new relationship. If you left the game several decades ago, it will not be so easy to return back. The dating rules have changed a lot since the time you first went on a date. When different life aspects such as children, careers, or marriage are no longer a priority, you look on dates very differently. Meeting people becomes easy, fun and interesting. There are many advantages of meeting a single women over 50 years. Even if you are younger than she is a date can still turn into a fairytale. Women are romantic, funny and perky at this age. You can find not only the love of your life, but also a good friend. There would be a person in your life with who you can have fun and enjoy your life with. At this age, they already have everything: money, a career, children and marriage behind them. All they want is to live to the fullest and have fun with new people. Dating woman over 50. The older you get, the more difficult it would be to start a new relationship. If you left the game several decades ago, it will not be so easy to return back. The dating rules have changed a lot since the time you first went on a date. When different life aspects such as children, careers, or marriage are no longer a priority, you look on dates very differently. Meeting people becomes easy, fun and interesting. There are many advantages of meeting a single women over 50 years. Even if you are younger than she is a date can still turn into a fairytale. Women are romantic, funny and perky at this age. You can find not only the love of your life, but also a good friend. There would be a person in your life with who you can have fun and enjoy your life with. At this age, they already have everything: money, a career, children and marriage behind them. All they want is to live to the fullest and have fun with new people. A few important things about women over 50. She probably doesn't need true love any more. At this age they have already got through a lot of things. Perhaps she had an unhappy marriage or her husband died. Maybe she got divorced due to a career or for many other reasons. There is a great likelihood that she does not want to fall in love again and start over to avoid new disappointments. Do not be surprised, this desire is completely normal. So what do they need from a new partner?

Quite simply: women do not want to be alone. They want to watch a movie with someone, drink a glass of wine before going to bed and just talk. Women do not always want to start all over again and age is absolutely not important here. If you are looking for a friend more than for a wife, a woman of this age may be a good fit. As a rule they are self-sufficient. If they lived alone for a while, they would know how to provide for themselves with everything they need. These are the most independent women you can ever find. They know everything: how to keep their own household, how to earn enough money. Moreover, they are satisfied with this state of affairs. They could never be married and have no children. This is their informed choice and they are unlikely to regret anything. Many people believe that being lonely at 50 is reckless. This is not so, each person decides what to do and how to live. ch women will prove to you that such a life is no worse than another. They have a lot of good friends. At 50, women are left alone if they want it. Mostly they have many favorite hobbies and their days can be carefully planned. And as a rule, they have several friends who they have known for many years. Women in their 50s go to book clubs or just go out with friends, go on a visit, or just spend time together. They are not afraid to join a company and go out into society. If you have a good relationship, she will be pleased to present you to her friends. They look at marriage differently. No one gets married with thoughts about divorce. Everyone thinks that they get married one single time in life and that their love will last forever until something bad happens. If you met a woman over 50 and she has been married once, she will look at such things differently. She understands that her only single prince on a white horse may not reach her and will not save her from all troubles. Women who have been divorced believe in a genuine bond between people. She will not think about the way to get married quickly again and find a replacement for her ex-husband. Most likely, she does not even think about marriage because she no longer needs it. Perhaps because her marriage did not live up to expectations and she does not want this story to repeat. They do not pay attention to trifles. The older a woman becomes, the better she understands that life is short. Older women pay attention only to really important things. They will spend hours in front of the mirror just to go to the store as they don’t care that someone can see them without makeup. They won’t spend several hours choosing between two almost identical dresses or looking for a fifth mascara for weeks. They would rather spend their time visiting a doctor or going on an exciting vacation. They don’t care about someone blaming them for such things as heels, lack of makeup or unfashionable outfit. They have a different view of families. If they did not start a family in the traditional sense (with husband and children), then they surrounded themselves with another kind of family. This close circle might consists of friends, pets, neighbors and other people who are close to them. If she did not succeed in having her own children, she will madly love her nephews. Her understanding of the family may be nonclassical, but that means she is invited to at least three Thanksgiving dinners. And she will try to be present at all of them so as not to offend anyone. At least just stop by to say hello and congratulate on the holiday. They are pretty good judges of character. Women over 50 have a deep understanding of people. If you lie to her and pretend to be someone you are not, she will quickly figure it out. Women have good intuition which is well developed by nature, and experience comes with age. Throughout her life, she saw different types of women and men. If you have some of baggage, tell her about it. She will understand and support you. Definitely do not hide two divorces and four children. She will definitely find out sooner or later. And when he finds out, she will be very disappointed. Not because of your past, but because you lied to her. They know how to keep everything in balance. How many fifty-year-old women living with their parents have you seen? Most likely not a single one. Everything works so good because they are able to support themselves, to balance between work, hobbies and leisure. It doesn’t matter why they are alone: divorced, widowed, or simply because they decided so. In any case, they will have all accounts in order. They will not spare time on the weekend to prepare a report to get a promotion. At this age, they know how to find time for everything, while not limiting themselves to anything. They like to insist on their opinion. Everyone has their own habits, and over the years they are becoming increasingly stronger. A woman in her 50s may be open to new hobbies and new ways of communication. But she may not like how you cook a Christmas dinner or wash the dishes or do the cleaning. Just because she used to do things differently. Everyone has their own little rituals, and the more frightened you become, the more difficult it becomes to change them. Find the love of your life with Dating.com. Dating.com is one of the best dating services. If you want to start looking for a single woman over 50, you need to do a few simple things: Register on our website or app using an email or your social network page; Fill in your profile. Add personal information about you that you would like to tell your future partner on the first date. But try to avoid oversharing. Tell about your hobbies and interests. This way women over 50 could start a conversation with you about things you have mentioned before in your personal profile; Start searching. Fill in search system filters with the things your future spouse should have. These can be appearance, age, education, hobbies and other things that are important for you; Text her. Start with a simple message to your chosen one. Get to know each other better and eventually try to meet her offline when it’s possible. Dating Advice For Women Over 50: Your Bodies Are Just Perfect, And More. A little while ago, I offered unsolicited advice for men over 50 about dating. This came mostly from what women had told me about their dates. Though many of them had positive observations, a lot of what they had to say dealt with their male companions being self-centered, boring, arrogant, duplicitous, needy and/or unwilling to commit (sometimes, impossible as it sounds, at the same time). Now, it's time for advice for women. Dangerous territory, I know. And while I'm confident men over 50 are generally worse at dating than women of that age, I'm equally sure that both genders can learn as they navigate new relationship terrain. 1. Your Bodies Are Perfect As They Are. -- Stop worrying about how your body looks at your age. Mature women take much better care of themselves, as a rule, than mature men. You're not 25. You're not supposed to look like you're 25. And those chunky men you're with have no room to complain. Regardless, women's bodies -- whatever the age -- are the second most miraculous creations on the planet. Your bodies should be lavished with praise. If a guy criticizes your body, point him toward a mirror and move on. 2. Your Faces Are Perfect, Too. Women's faces are THE most miraculous creations on earth. With makeup, and particularly without makeup. There's truth to the maxim that older faces reflect character and wisdom. I've never understood the myths fostered by the makeup industry, but if you want to wear it, okay. Just know that you look great to many of us older guys with it or without it. 3. You Probably Want to "Have It All" and Are Not Willing to "Settle". Those may -- or may not -- be admirable goals. I'll leave that for another time. But keep that to yourself. I had pointed out previously to men that some of things they say on dates aren't particularly wise. When women say they don't want to settle, it never comes across sounding good. 4. Listening Should Be a Two-Way Street. Just as I advised men to stop talking and LISTEN, it's beneficial when it goes in both directions. I have had dates where for two hours, I was not asked a single question or had an opportunity to talk for more than a moment or two. I left the date knowing their life stories. They left not knowing if I had children (I do) or parents!

(I did.) After decades of living, we all have a lot to convey, but it makes for a better date if listening is a mutual activity. 5. Let things flow organically. This goes for both genders, but women over 50 seem to want to size guys up right away in terms of their long term relationship potential. You don't want to waste your time, I understand that. But if you've already made the determination that he's worth a date, see where it goes for a bit before passing judgment. 6. That Thorny Matter of Money. Money is probably not a great date topic even if it's really, really important to you!

I got this text before a date (which I then declined to go on): "If you don't have a substantial retirement in place or big income, we will not be a match." Other dates have said they are only interested in rich men. I get that, I suppose. And one actually put forth the idea I should write her monthly checks. If money is hugely important, pre-screen your dates better. 7. That Thornier Matter of Sex. Just as men shouldn't talk about or expect sex too soon, women should appreciate that most of us -- male and female -- aren't on these dating sites solely for someone to hike with or take to the opera (some are, but not most.) When sex comes up, a frequent comment from women, is, "This isn't 1970. I'm not just going to jump into bed." And that's a good point. Waiting awhile is okay. The "friends first" mantra is common. And it isn't 1970. But it also isn't 1870, and if there is mutual attraction, at this stage of our lives, waiting a long time -- whatever that may be -- seems equally foolish. Yes, there are often wide differences between men and women in the emotional attachment created by sex. Someone brilliant once said, "Men sleep with women to see if there could be a relationship. Women sleep with men because they believe there already is a relationship." If that's true, it's sort of amazing anyone gets together, but they do. 8. Men Are Confused by Women's Definition(s) of "Controlling Behavior." On many of the dates I've had, women talk about the controlling behavior of former partners. You appear to want decisive guys who can take charge and be assertive. But when that crosses the line into controlling behavior, it is always a bad thing. And I agree. Controlling is a bad thing. The problem is, it's the Three Bears Syndrome. He has to be in control but not controlling. It's a tough bind for guys, who aren't all that bright to begin with, and we often get it wrong. Worse yet, the metric for what is controlling changes, so that something we did one day that was just right somehow is too controlling when we do the same thing two weeks later. I don't have the answer. I just know it's a problem that men cannot solve, and it might help you to be aware of our confusion. . He frowned and called for the bill. “I’m afraid this isn’t going to work. To be honest, I don’t feel there’s really any chemistry between us.” Since that date, Ella, who organises singles’ drinks parties for a living, has worried about confessing to the apparently insurmountable mental peak of being over 50. One friend of mine won’t go out to a party with me if she thinks I might tell someone how old we are. For men, whatever their age, 50 is often a step beyond which they are unprepared to venture. Once they are free from their marriages or long-term relationships, the majority of male fantasies revolve around younger women. Even if they’ve never settled down, when they finally decide to do it, it’s usually with someone young enough to produce a family. One life-long bachelor, approaching 60, who’s never lived with anyone, told me he was ready to commit to someone who could give him children. My friend Anna recently set up her 52-year-old girlfriend with a man of 56. “They would have suited each other perfectly,” she said. ‘It wasn’t until half way through dinner that I realised he was actually hitting on my daughter.” A friend gave a dinner party recently for 30 single people and the only woman who received any follow-up whatsoever was still in her forties. Before you dismiss all this as anecdotal, in 2013 the National Office of Statistics found there had been a 40 per cent increase in men over 50 becoming new dads since the beginning of the millennium: 21 men over 50 were becoming new dads every day and two over 60. Of course I think my friends are beautiful, accomplished, intelligent, amusing and fun. But the reality is that men, however old, prefer their women a little juicier, as if conjunction with a menopausal or post-menopausal woman might condemn them to instant decrepitude. One 60-something man I sat next to at dinner recently asked me, “Are you still the right side of wet?” I am rarely at a loss for words but I gaped. Is it any wonder that so many of us have lost confidence in our sexuality?

Even before we know what vaginal atrophy means, most of us realise that we’re unlikely to experience that coup-de-foudre across a crowded room ever again. While we have far more self-assurance than we used to in our competence and life skills, most of us are terrified of wearing a swimsuit, let alone ripping our underwear off in an erotic frenzy and thrashing around naked. A few of us feel intimidated by men’s sexual appetites, worrying that we won’t be able to match them with our own shrinking libidos. Even so, I am less cynical now about true love than I’ve ever been. But I certainly don’t expect to experience it within the stifling confines of a conventional relationship. Nor do I believe in looking for Mr Right via online dating or organised singles’ parties. Given we only have a couple or so decades left, what’s the point of doing anything if it’s not fun? Sitting with a stranger and fretting over who’s going to pay for dinner or how he might react when confronted with my wobbling nether regions is not my idea of fun at all. Besides, many of us are carrying hurt that cannot be mended by a quick romp. A lot of us have been through a split up that has riven our families and as we’ve nurtured our children through the fall-out we’ve often neglected to acknowledge our own spiritual and emotional bruising. Many women I talk to find it difficult to trust again. Or they find that they enter a relationship fast in an effort to cheer themselves up and then make the same mistakes all over again, emerging more hurt and wary than before they went into it. So why are so many of us trying to find love online? Among my friends, I am yet to find an example of a successful online encounter. Why go through the humiliation of watching your date’s face fall as he assesses the difference between the real you and the gorgeous photograph you posted on the dating site that probably made you look ten years younger? I have never online dated but recently I arranged to meet a man I hadn’t seen for years at a party via a series of flirtatious emails. I arrived and saw his eyes narrow as he tried to work out who the woman grinning and bearing down on him was. By the time he recognised me, I’d already seen his eyes assess and then dismiss me. Kindly, he hugged me warmly to conceal the rejection but I knew it was his memory of my younger self he had been anticipating, not the 56-year-old he was now confronting. But has anything really changed?

If anything is different now it’s that we expect to have it all well into our dotage. Plastic surgery has meant some can go on pretending to look 35 at 55 and an enlarged sense of entitlement means lots of women believe they deserve a nice man to cuddle up to on the sofa and plan city breaks with. What some of us forget is that there are so many other routes to happiness later in life. Being single means never again having to compromise. We are the generation that fought for independence and freedom but now that we have it, we’re moaning about where all the men have gone. Well, as they always did, they’ve gone off to look for fertile women and procreate again because they can. So rather than risk chaos, dejection and heartbreak, shall we just leave them to it? “Seek and ye shall find,” is a misguided piece of rubbish. Though it’s a cliché it’s also a truth that it’s only when people stop looking for love and quit trying so hard that they’re able to allow in the unexpected – and so many of the greatest love affairs begin suddenly and surprisingly. After all, if we’re out having fun and not being anxious about whether we have hairs on our chin or if we need to dye our pubes, we’re far more likely to bump into someone to have a good time with than if we’re poring over some random man’s online photograph. Step away from your computer right now and go to the pub or a party. Get out amongst it. Most likely not a single one. Everything works so good because they are able to support themselves, to balance between work, hobbies and leisure. It doesn’t matter why they are alone: divorced, widowed, or simply because they decided so. In any case, they will have all accounts in order. They will not spare time on the weekend to prepare a report to get a promotion. At this age, they know how to find time for everything, while not limiting themselves to anything. They like to insist on their opinion. Everyone has their own habits, and over the years they are becoming increasingly stronger. A woman in her 50s may be open to new hobbies and new ways of communication. But she may not like how you cook a Christmas dinner or wash the dishes or do the cleaning. Just because she used to do things differently. Everyone has their own little rituals, and the more frightened you become, the more difficult it becomes to change them. Find the love of your life with Dating.com. Dating.com is one of the best dating services. If you want to start looking for a single woman over 50, you need to do a few simple things: Register on our website or app using an email or your social network page; Fill in your profile. Add personal information about you that you would like to tell your future partner on the first date. But try to avoid oversharing. Tell about your hobbies and interests. This way women over 50 could start a conversation with you about things you have mentioned before in your personal profile; Start searching. Fill in search system filters with the things your future spouse should have. These can be appearance, age, education, hobbies and other things that are important for you; Text her. Start with a simple message to your chosen one. Get to know each other better and eventually try to meet her offline when it’s possible. Dating After 50: What You Need to Know. If you’re a man who is over 50 and attempting to date women, you might not realize the distinct advantages that you possess over younger guys. A man of your age has had a lot of life experience and you really should be using that to feel confident in what you’ve got to offer women. Unlike a younger man who is still trying to work out who he is and what he should be doing with his life, you’ve likely past those stages and have become your true self as a man. So, from here, you need to have confidence in the overall value that a woman will gain (emotionally, mentally, financially, etc) by being with man like you. However, don’t try to pitch it that way to women. Women don’t like it when a man tries to sell himself to her by listing off all of his great or beneficial qualities. Instead, what you need to do is trigger her feelings of sexual attraction for you. When you’ve triggered a woman’s feelings of sexual attraction, she then starts to look at everything else about you in a more positive light. Here’s how it works… Most women (not all) are open to feeling attracted to different types of guys and if you can make a woman feel what she’s hoping to feel with a guy, she will be much more open to dating and getting into a relationship with a man of your age. Getting Past Your Age. Despite the changes in our society, there still seems to be an unwritten law that once you’re passed a certain age you’re too “old” for dating. Yet, if you’ve reached that certain age and you’re a single man looking for love, the fact is that you’re going to find it in the same way that guys in their 20s and 30s do – and that’s dating. After all, the whole idea of dating is to get to know the woman you’re attracted to and to figure out whether she is someone that you’re interested in being in a relationship with. However, with that said, the most common mistake that guys over 50 make when trying to woo a woman, is that they forget the all important element of sexual attraction. Getting Back in to the Dating Scene. It’s understandable that many men in their 50s, who find themselves returning to the dating scene after decades of being in a relationship, start off feeling a bit insecure and unsure of themselves. If this is you, I can help you. Insecurity and lack of confidence in your attractiveness and value to women at any age is a barrier to success with women, but the good news is that any man can overcome that at any stage in their life and irrespective of age. All a guy needs is a willingness to learn. “But, I Don’t Have My Youthful Looks…” Something a lot of guys in their 50s say to me is, “Dan, how am I supposed to attract a new woman into my life now that I’ve no longer got my youthful appearance?

Surely, most women aren’t going to be interested in an old fella like me.” What such men don’t realise is that I also get comments from guys half their age saying, “How am I going to attract a woman without movie star good looks? Isn’t it all about being tall, dark and handsome?” I answer everyone in the same way – a man’s looks have very little to do with how attractive he is. The notion that “attractiveness” is the way you look, the way you style your hair, the clothes you wear or even the car you drive is nonsense, but it’s the nonsense that is shoved in our faces day in and day out through TV, magazine and billboard advertising campaigns. You know the sort of thing I mean – wear a certain brand of deodorant and you’ll be irresistible to women, wear a certain brand of watch and you’ll become a distinguished gentleman in a woman’s eyes, wear a certain designer label and you’ll have soccer star status, etc. Yet, when you go and buy those things, women still aren’t going to be interested unless you have the confidence and belief in yourself as a man to back it up. A watch isn’t going to get you laid and a hairstyle isn’t going to make women say, “Wow, now THAT is what I’ve been looking for!

The way you’ve styled your hair is perfect! Let’s have sex!” In the real world (not the TV commercial world), women are attracted to confident men; they don’t buy into the false world of advertising “attractiveness,” so why should you?

The sooner you let go of the idea that your not-so-good-looks are holding you back, the sooner you can get on with discovering what women really find attractive in a man. Focussing on what you don’t have gets you nowhere, but focussing on what you do have gets you moving towards having whatever you want. Women love a man who believes in himself because he decides to believe in himself for deeper reasons. Having temporary confidence over a new shirt you’ve just bought at a designer shop isn’t going to last very long at all. In fact, if you’re going around basing your confidence on superficial things like that, women will see right through it. Some will even challenge you on the spot by playing hard to get, making it difficult for you to keep the conversation going and so on, so they can check to see how confident you really are. When they see that it’s just a front, boom – it’s over. You Deserve to Be Confident After 50. Allow yourself to have that confidence, because when you do, women will love you for it. Dating after 50 is easy for guys who believe in themselves and know that their experience with manhood and their ability to “be the man” is like a drug to women of all ages. If you don’t have a lot of confidence or are lacking in the masculinity department (mental and emotional masculinity), let me help you out. I’ve heard back from 100s of men over 50 who are now sleeping with women in their 20s and 30s, as well as men who’ve found a beautiful new women to share the rest of their life with. Don’t Believe the Lies from TV Advertising Campaigns. Think about it; they show the “sad” grey-haired man and then the “happy” man with newly dyed youthful-looking hair. He dyes his hair and then he gets the girl. Yet, in the real world, the many women I’ve spoken to about men dying their hair have said the same sorts of things, “It looks silly. You can tell that the guy is insecure and is trying to be something he’s not.” As I’ve already said in this article, all women love men who believe in themselves for deeper reasons. Being a girl and dying to hair to “look young” is not cool and it’s not attractive. If anything, it actually makes you look like a guy who secretly isn’t into girls, if you catch my drift. Hopefully you’re one of the smarter men who isn’t being tricked into thinking that women want you to look radiant and youthful. Hopefully you realize that men actually become more attractive to women as they age, as long as (and I repeat, as long as) the guy retains and builds on his confidence, continues to push forward in life and beyond what he has already achieved. If you’re wanting to get a date after 50, but you’re lacking confidence and going nowhere in life, don’t expect women of any age to be lining up to be with you. Most women, whether they’re 25 or 55, are instinctively attracted to the same characteristics in a man. What women really want is to be with a man who knows how to make them feel like a woman and who is able to consistently “be the man” around her and in life, and that’s it. Yes, some women are picky about looks, but many women are more flexible with what they will find attractive in a guy than most men realize. So get over that imaginary hurdle and stop thinking that a wrinkle cream or hair die will get you a hot lady. Stop thinking that all you need to do is spend all of your money on a sports car and THEN you’ll get the girl. Just believe in yourself, be a man and make women feel like women. As you will discover from the video above, the real reason why a lot of good men fail with women is that they simply don’t know how to attract women. When you interact with a woman, she is only going to look at you as a potential lover, boyfriend or husband if you can make her feel sexually attracted to you. The more sexual attraction you are able to make women feel by way of your personality, confidence, vibe, body language, behavior and attitude, the more options you will have with women. It’s as simple as that. “But, I’ve Got Baggage…” It’s no surprise that a man in his 50s might be carrying a little more “baggage” with him than a man in his 20s. It’s totally normal, expected and nothing to worry about at all. For instance: Maybe he’s got kids, maybe he’s got six dogs, three cats and a goldfish, but is any of that an issue? It will be an issue only if he chooses to see it in a negative way. Sure, you might have different sets of responsibilities by the time you reach your 50s compared to a guy in his 20s, but you don’t need to consider it “baggage,” it’s simply part of who you are. There’s nothing wrong with you having a past with other women, or having a dog that you love or having your children come and stay with you on weekends. Women are attracted to men who know who they are; men who have established their own set of values in life and men who have the strength of character to stand by those values and always be true to themselves. Knowing who you are and knowing what you want from life makes you an attractive man at any age. To get over this particular hurdle regarding dating after 50, all that you need to do is realise that most women (not all) are interested in “who” you are, not “what” you are. “But, I’m Set in My Ways…” If you want help and advice about dating after 50 because you’ve realized that the world has changed since you were last on the dating scene, you need to be prepared to learn from current experts in the field. Trying to use advice that was applicable 40 years ago is only going to cause you trouble because, believe me, things really have changed. To master the modern dating scene, you need to be open to learning and that means being open to change. If you’re too set in your ways and you’re not open to change, things are going to stay exactly as they are. Don’t make the mistake of getting locked into thoughts of, “Well I am what I am, so it’s too late to change anything now.” Success with women is all about taking steps to become the best version of yourself it’s possible to be, so you can attract a quality woman and keep that woman (if you want to!). Don’t settle for second best or worse – nothing at all. You deserve to be happy and have a beautiful woman to share your life with, or if you prefer, many beautiful women to share your bed with. If you’re dating after 50 and are looking for advice, then let me help you. I’ll show you the way to quickly having your choice of beautiful women…and you don’t need to change a thing about your physical appearance to make that happen. Want to Know the SECRET to Success With Women?

Watch this hidden video where Dan exposes his BIGGEST secret to success with women, which allows you to easily get laid or get a girlfriend. Dating Advice For Women Over 50: Your Bodies Are Just Perfect, And More. A little while ago, I offered unsolicited advice for men over 50 about dating. This came mostly from what women had told me about their dates. Though many of them had positive observations, a lot of what they had to say dealt with their male companions being self-centered, boring, arrogant, duplicitous, needy and/or unwilling to commit (sometimes, impossible as it sounds, at the same time). Now, it's time for advice for women. Dangerous territory, I know. And while I'm confident men over 50 are generally worse at dating than women of that age, I'm equally sure that both genders can learn as they navigate new relationship terrain. 1. Your Bodies Are Perfect As They Are. -- Stop worrying about how your body looks at your age. Mature women take much better care of themselves, as a rule, than mature men. You're not 25. You're not supposed to look like you're 25. And those chunky men you're with have no room to complain. Regardless, women's bodies -- whatever the age -- are the second most miraculous creations on the planet. Your bodies should be lavished with praise. If a guy criticizes your body, point him toward a mirror and move on. 2. Your Faces Are Perfect, Too. Women's faces are THE most miraculous creations on earth. With makeup, and particularly without makeup. There's truth to the maxim that older faces reflect character and wisdom. I've never understood the myths fostered by the makeup industry, but if you want to wear it, okay. Just know that you look great to many of us older guys with it or without it. 3. You Probably Want to "Have It All" and Are Not Willing to "Settle". Those may -- or may not -- be admirable goals. I'll leave that for another time. But keep that to yourself. I had pointed out previously to men that some of things they say on dates aren't particularly wise. When women say they don't want to settle, it never comes across sounding good. 4. Listening Should Be a Two-Way Street. Just as I advised men to stop talking and LISTEN, it's beneficial when it goes in both directions. I have had dates where for two hours, I was not asked a single question or had an opportunity to talk for more than a moment or two. I left the date knowing their life stories. They left not knowing if I had children (I do) or parents! I got this text before a date (which I then declined to go on): "If you don't have a substantial retirement in place or big income, we will not be a match." Other dates have said they are only interested in rich men. I get that, I suppose. And one actually put forth the idea I should write her monthly checks. If money is hugely important, pre-screen your dates better. 7. That Thornier Matter of Sex. Just as men shouldn't talk about or expect sex too soon, women should appreciate that most of us -- male and female -- aren't on these dating sites solely for someone to hike with or take to the opera (some are, but not most.) When sex comes up, a frequent comment from women, is, "This isn't 1970. I'm not just going to jump into bed." And that's a good point. Waiting awhile is okay. The "friends first" mantra is common. And it isn't 1970. But it also isn't 1870, and if there is mutual attraction, at this stage of our lives, waiting a long time -- whatever that may be -- seems equally foolish. Yes, there are often wide differences between men and women in the emotional attachment created by sex. Someone brilliant once said, "Men sleep with women to see if there could be a relationship. Women sleep with men because they believe there already is a relationship." If that's true, it's sort of amazing anyone gets together, but they do. 8. Men Are Confused by Women's Definition(s) of "Controlling Behavior." On many of the dates I've had, women talk about the controlling behavior of former partners. You appear to want decisive guys who can take charge and be assertive. But when that crosses the line into controlling behavior, it is always a bad thing. And I agree. Controlling is a bad thing. The problem is, it's the Three Bears Syndrome. He has to be in control but not controlling. It's a tough bind for guys, who aren't all that bright to begin with, and we often get it wrong. Worse yet, the metric for what is controlling changes, so that something we did one day that was just right somehow is too controlling when we do the same thing two weeks later. I don't have the answer. I just know it's a problem that men cannot solve, and it might help you to be aware of our confusion. Flirting, compliments and waiting for sex: 6 rules for dating after 50. Remember that very first date? Sweaty palms. Awkward conversation. You probably even had a curfew. Once you hit 50, at least the curfew is gone. But according to TODAY’s “This is 50” survey results, only 18 percent of single people in their 50s said they were dating. More than 40 percent said they were considering it, but not actually doing it. As to the “why” behind the lack of date-nights, nearly 60 percent say they don’t need a relationship to be happy. That’s true whether you’re 16 or 56, but more than 40 percent don’t believe there is anyone “out there” to date. More than 30 percent don’t even know where to begin and nearly 30 percent say they find it too stressful (think back to those sweaty palms and awkward conversations.) For more than 40 percent of respondents, other priorities are simply more important, and nearly one-quarter say it’s just too difficult to date when you’re 50-plus. On the positive side, the age 50-plus daters seem to be pretty darn smart when choosing a date-mate. In fact, nearly 60 percent say they make better decisions about compatibility now compared to when they were younger. Some 42 percent have better quality dates, and 52 percent say part of the allure of dating in the 50s is the absence of the tick-tock of the biological clock. Most people want to find a friend or a life partner, and to meet the dates who may fulfill this desire, many 50-somethings, about 80 percent in fact, do it the old-fashioned way — through friends or family. One-quarter use dating websites. Dating after 40 or 50 means taking control of your love life, just like you do the rest of your life. It means being kind to yourself and the men you meet. It means making good choices. I have compiled a list of Dating Do’s and Don’ts exclusively for women like you. These aren’t your daughter’s dating rules. These are for the woman who is done repeating the same mistakes, and is ready to find her grown-up love story. Baggage bonding is when an early date shifts into deep conversation about some baggage you have in common. It starts off innocently with a question like “So what happened with your marriage?” or “How has online dating been for you?” And off you go! You start comparing your horrific ex-spouses or your crazy awful dates. Yes, I know he said he was going to call you, I know you had a great date and want to see him again. I know it’s tempting. But don’t do it. Men know who and what they want, often better than we do. That’s especially true of the grownup men that you’re dating. Your 25-year-old may want to linger and go down the rabbit hole trying to figure it all out. The grown-up dater gives him a reasonable amount of time to show up, and then says a big “So what!” and moves on. Yep, just like he did. I know, you're mature, smart and competent. But every day I coach women like you through situations they wish they didn't get into. The last thing you want at 55 is to wake up in the morning with flashbacks to your days as a 20-something, right? Unless you can talk with your dude about safe sex and the status of your relationship after intimacy, steer clear of the sack. Take care of yourself by initiating a conversation and sharing your needs and wants. If you are dealing with a grown-up man he will appreciate and respect you for it. If he's not; he won't. Good to know before you jump in! His manners, his shirt, his smile, the way he talks about his kids. Start off with the positive and try to stay in discovery mode before you decide he’s not right for you. This keeps you open to someone who might not be your type. (Because after all, your type hasn't worked or you would be reading this.) Yes, grown-up women flirt and men like it! Keep your body language open, play with your hair, smile, touch his arm. And best flirt of all: compliment him!

And bring your femininity to every date. It’s the thing we have that men want most! Be the master of the segue if he talks too much, or the conversation swerves into uncomfortable topics. Make sure you get to talk about yourself in a meaningful way as well. If he walks away from the date having shared too much or hasn’t learned about you, then there won't be a second date. Why is this up to you?

Because you are better at it than he. Just do it, and you’ll both enjoy the date more. Show up to your dates open, happy and being your already charming self. It will bring out the best in him and insure that you both have the best time possible. Remember, even if he is not Mr. I Love You, there is something valuable to learn from every date. Bobbi Palmer is The Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40 and founder of Date Like a Grownup. Take Bobbi’s free Man-o-Meter test and read her blog at www.datelikeagrownup.com.


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