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Acing the New York Dating Scene: Find Love with EliteSingles. Struggling to find real love on the NYC dating scene?

EliteSingles can help. Our members are intelligent, single professionals who are looking for a relationship that lasts. NYC singles are you ready to meet your meaningful match?

Why wait — find out what we can do for you and join us today! New York Dating with EliteSingles. In this city of constant entertainment, busy lives, and millions of available singles, it can be all too easy to get caught up in the NYC dating whirlwind. re, it’s an easy town to have fun in — but if you’re looking for something real, the going can get tough. If you’re finding that your tales from the front lines of New York dating are providing nothing but funny stories to tell at dinner parties, then it’s time to get smart about the places you choose to look for love and meet NYC singles who are genuinely compatible. And that means finding a dating site designed to create lasting, meaningful connections. At EliteSingles we understand that in this city with millions of people, a busy social scene, diverse culture, and lively nightlife, it’s easy to have fun but can be hard to build a relationship. New York life is bustling, which is good for singles in NYC, but it’s easy to miss your match in this sometimes chaotic culture. Out at night in a bar with a group of friends, it’s not actually that easy to meet someone anymore and bumping into Mister or Miss Perfect on the subway seems a thing of fairytales! Real relationships are increasingly hard to come by, even in a place where so many people share the same spaces!

And so more and more single men and women are choosing a dating site or dating apps as their preference. And EliteSingles is here with the shortcut for dating in New York successfully!

Simplify the NYC Dating Game. New York, online dating is here to help!

With as many as one-in-three long term matches in the US now beginning online, 1 the smart choice today is to turn to a dating site to find a partner. Naturally, though, this comes with a caveat: The type of partner that you find will often depend on the kind of dating website that you choose. If you’re looking for a long-term partner who is truly compatible with your lifestyle, personality and relationship goals, then EliteSingles is the right New York dating site for you. Our thoughtful matchmaking process not only streamlines your search, but it can also connect you with the type of NYC singles you actually want to be dating — single men and women who are professional, intelligent and ready for lasting love. And, with so many career-minded single professionals using our dating site we understand what it means to have a busy schedule that leaves little time to look for love. We’re here to help on that front too! Our handy dating app is available for both iOS and Android and was designed with busy singles in mind. Now it’s even easier to meet singles when and where you can — on the treadmill at the gym, waiting in line at the bodega, or between meetings. The convenience of good dating apps means you can now date on the go, saving you more of your valuable time! The New York Singles Scene. Even in one of the world’s biggest cities, home to literally millions of social singles, finding love is still really difficult. Difficult, but not impossible — at least when you have the right dating site by your side! EliteSingles is just such a site. We can help connect you with interesting, relationship-minded New York singles. You can search through profiles using our ‘Have you met…’ feature, and for true efficiency, our intelligent matchmaking streamlines the dating experience streamlines the dating experience by picking out 3-7 matches for you daily so you don’t waste time trawling through endless incompatible profiles or speaking to someone who doesn’t share your relationship goals. This is pretty helpful in a city where you pass thousands of new faces daily. Let’s help you change your dating in NYC experience and build real relationships. NYC Dating: Where to Go? With plenty of interesting single men and women on EliteSingles, it won’t be long until you meet someone and must plan where you’re going to take them. New Yorkers are spoiled for choice in this regard: whether your budget is more Broadway or more bodega, there’ll be a New York date idea that suits you. We’ve added some of our favorite NYC dating ideas below — or try our articles on romantic dates in New York City and romantic upstate getaways. It’s a New York city stereotype: the urbanite who is so in love with Manhattan that they only leave the island for emergencies (and certainly not for dates!). Yet, to stick to the familiar means missing out on some great New York dating opportunities and places to meet singles. Brooklyn is one of the many parts of the city that is full to bursting with great dates, from coffee to cocktails. If you’re pulling out all the stops, try The River Café: The food is exquisite and perfectly matched by the oh-so-romantic views across the water. For a more low-key but still classy first meeting at June Wine Bar is ideal: with an impressive selection of wines and a delightful menu, it sets just the right tone. Of course, there are plenty of amazing NYC dating ideas to be had wherever you are in the city — including the more well-known spots. In fact, Ella Fitzgerald may have been onto something when she sang about turning ‘’Manhattan into an isle of joy.’’ In the song, Ella sings about all the romantic, touristy things she loves to do: from Central Park to Coney Island. They’re cliché, sure, even a bit cheesy. And yet, hardly any true New Yorkers have tried them. So, shake things up!

Instead of standing in line for yet another ‘secret’ speakeasy, do something classic. Rent boats at the Loeb Boathouse or make it a mission to eat at Katz’s Delicatessen. Be silly. Put the fun back into New York dating. Singles in New York, what’s a first date without a touch of romance?

To make the most of it in real New York fashion, you’re going to have to get really high – by heading to one of New York’s hundreds of amazing rooftop bars, gardens or romantic NYC restaurants. Head straight for The Roof, a rooftop paradise that boasts incredible views of the New York skyline and Central Park. It’s an ideal date venue no matter the weather with the covered terraces and tasteful décor. Alternatively, try the Cantor Roof Garden Bar at the Met (open May – Oct). Starting your date in the iconic museum and winding your way to the picturesque rooftop means enjoying true romance, New York dating style. I live in New York City, which has been ranked one of the best places in the country for dating. Here's why I think it's actually terrible. However, there are many struggles that come with dating in New York City that are rarely discussed outside of close friend groups or frustrated rants on social media. It's nearly impossible to have any privacy when you have to live with multiple roommates. One reality of living in New York City as a 20-something is the inevitability of multiple roommates. However, whether you have just one roommate or end up sharing your space with four city-dwellers, living with other people can definitely put a strain on your ability to date. As someone with three roommates, I've found it difficult to host dates in my apartment. It can seem rude to occupy the kitchen or living area for hours at a time to have dinner, not to mention the awkwardness of a roommate walking through your space. Privacy is pretty much impossible if you live with multiple people, which is usually the case in a city like New York. Living in different boroughs of the city can make your relationship seem like a long-distance one. An assumption I had about living in New York City prior to actually moving there was that everyone lived close together, or at the very least could easily get to one another via a quick subway ride. This couldn't be farther from the truth. It could take at least an hour, and multiple trains or buses, to get from my home in Prospect Lefferts Gardens, Brooklyn, to some parts of Manhattan. Even other parts of Brooklyn, like Bushwick or Williamsburg, can only be primarily accessed by Uber, since no train line runs from my apartment to that part of the borough. If you're dating someone in another part of the city, it can sometimes feel like a long-distance relationship depending on how convenient it is to get there. Unlike what you see in movies and shows like "Sex and the City," people don't just start flirting in a coffee shop, on the street, or on the subway. We've likely all dreamed of being in a coffee shop and having a cute stranger write their number on our to-go coffee cup. However, for the most part, everyone has their headphones in or they're in too much of a rush to stop and say hello, let alone come up with a flirty way to introduce themselves. While "meet-cutes" abound in movies and TV shows set in New York, the reality is far less romantic. Meeting someone in a bar is definitely possible, but you likely won't have the straight-out-of-a-romantic-comedy experience you're hoping for. If you're not a fan of dating apps, it can be hard to meet someone in person. In New York City, there are three main places to meet people: at work, in a bar or nightclub, or on your cell phone. New York is home to millions of people, so it's inevitable that dating apps would become an avenue of choice for people to meet. However, if you're not a fan of dating apps, your options can be a lot more limited. As someone who prefers the in-person experience of getting to know someone, dating apps seem cold, impersonal, and downright phony at times. I detest pick-up lines and small talk, and, to me, it seems unnatural to meet someone through an app. Plus, as my own experiences and those of my close friends have proven, dating apps have only furthered the mindset that the options are limitless for dating. If you're not a fan of one person, there are a million more people out there at your fingertips. While this is freeing for some people, it can often lead to ghosting and heartbreak. New Yorkers, by nature, are always looking for something bigger and better. As New Yorkers, we've come to crave the best and the brightest things available to us — the coolest new restaurant, the best apartment, the quickest subway commute, and more. This propensity to crave the biggest and the best also applies to relationships. No one is perfect, but some daters — myself included, at times — are simply unwilling to put the time in to look past even the smallest flaws, assuming that someone better will come along. In a city of millions of young singles, this may be true. However, the New Yorker attitude of always looking for the biggest and the brightest thing may end up hurting others, and even ourselves, in the end. We're also an ambitious lot, which can pose problems in relationships. Ah, ambition. It led to the demise of Hamlet, and it similarly kills many relationships in New York City. Many residents of New York City are consumed by work. We are the hustlers, the go-getters, the never-stoppers. Many people end up choosing to focus on their careers, rather than dedicate time to dating or pursuing a relationship. Even if you do want to make time for dating, it can be hard. Between a nine-to-five job, working out, and doing everything else we have to do in a day, finding time to go out on dates can make for an overwhelming schedule. Everything is really expensive, and going out to dinner on a first date is pretty rare. While New York City ranked highly in WalletHub's study of the best cities for singles in the fun and recreational activities category, it ranked dead last in the economic factor. Dating in New York City is expensive — from dinners out to cocktails at the bar, you can easily drop at least $100 in a single night out. In fact, the average cost of dinner and a movie in New York City is $111.60, according to 24/7 Wall St. To cut costs, many New Yorkers go out for drinks or coffee rather than a sit-down meal for a first date. However, a couple of cocktails — which often cost in the vicinity of $14 each — can still be really expensive. Many singles have some sort of emotional baggage that can affect their relationships. In a city like New York, mental health obstacles, being away from our families, and a demanding work-life balance can create baggage in relationships. Resentment can grow if one person is succeeding more in their careers. Some partners may be forced to move in together more quickly than they'd like due to high rent costs. Plus, when all of your exes live within a 10-mile radius of you, that can open up a can of worms in itself. It's virtually impossible to escape the people of your past. Couples across the country may have to deal with some kind of baggage. However, I've noticed that in New York City, there tends to be a great deal more work involved in creating a healthy relationship and putting the past behind you. Where to meet singles in New York City. New York singles are a busy crowd. When you are taking a girl on the date, you have to be aware that she likely has a busy schedule. It might take a while for a tourist to get used to the crazy rhythm of the lives of New Yorkers, but eventually, you’ll get used to having a busy partner. New York is one of the biggest cities in the world, so we are talking about multi-million dating pools. You can find a partner who shares your interests or go for something entirely different. New York has it all. New York places for meeting singles. If I were asked to define the main advantage of New York dating, it would be the large selection of singles-only-places. There are entire bar districts that are almost exclusive for dating. You can walk into a bar and know that people are looking for the same thing as you do. This targeted approach makes meeting people in New York much more straightforward. Once you’ve found the right bar, you have already achieved 50% of success. 92YTribeca. This downtown place is famous on the NYC dating scene for Dave and Ethan — two hilarious coaches who do regular startups in the bar, sharing their witty jokes, based on real-life insights. It’s a great place to get to know the differences of New York dating versus any other kind. Also, you have a real chance of finding a match right during a stand-up — Dave and Ethan always encourage visitors to participate in “couple” games and get to know people. Single and the City. I love this NYC bar for its amazing trivia games and mixer games. Whenever I want to meet someone outside of my typical social circle, I know that Single and the City will help e to step out of the comfort zone. However, if you want to participate in the event, you have to book a spot beforehand. A New Year party costs $50, a fireman event tickets are $30, and the iconic hot-or-not matches are $40 per person. 21 stores. Meeting someone in the department store might not be a go-to idea in other cities, but it’s considered a good idea for meeting people in New York. People meet in 21 Stores shops and cafes, and you can approach a stranger anytime. In fact, for me, it often works better than bars because the atmosphere puts less pressure on the girl and me. Also, 21 Stores are everywhere — look up the closest location in Google Maps. New York Easy Dates. Another idea for looking for a New York date is at the specialized websites, exclusive for the New Yorker community. New York Easy Dates is my favorite local community — I like the way the profiles are organized into categories by professions, interests, education. All members enter the group chat where, in a limited timeframe, they can find a date. Silly Date. If you aren’t ready for serious romantic dates just yet, and would rather have fun, I suggest joining a Silly Date community. You can go to their website to book a ticket to a geek day, movie outings, and sing-along meetings. It’s a must-visit spot for nerds — and let me tell you, you’ll remember these dates for the longest time. Grubwithus. If you like food and bonding over gastronomic preferences, you got a community for that, too. Grubwithus is a NY service where you can join online discussions about food and favorite places to eat. If you find someone who shares your preferences, you can write them directly and get to know potential dates better. Also, the site offers regular food-related events — like Nom Wah Tea Parlor or national cuisines nights. Each dinner has its discussion topic — you can discuss Netflix shows, music, games – the selection of interests is impressive. NY Minute Dating. There is hardly a more romantic location on a boat cruise. NY Minute Dating offers regular cruises from spring to fall, hosted exclusively for singles. You can sign up for the next cruise on their website, or even choose a themed party. Meet a single right at the quiz, or bring a date to the cruise for holidays. 300 New York. Dates don’t have to follow the same template, with restaurants and movies. Chelsea Piers offers a brand-new feel of romantic evenings. You can participate in bowling parties, gaming nights, and truth-or-dare challenges. ch an informal atmosphere brings everyone closer, and it’s a good way to fight the first-date awkwardness. New York City dating sites. If you are not a fan of picking up girls in a bar, I have a safer alternative for you. You can pre-arrange a date on a New York site, so you already have an idea of whom you are meeting. One of the first dating websites, it’s also one of the biggest communities with bullet-proof reputation. It targets serious relationships rather than one=time hookups and attracts a more mature audience — but Millenials love the platform, too. The website has a strict verification system — all members have to go through email and photo verification. A safe casual dating app that connects strangers in the same area. You have an hour to find a date and arrange a meeting — in an hour, the profile and messenger are deleted. Your data isn’t stored in the server, so there is no way any personal info could be leaked. Also, the site creates a nice feeling of urgency — you have to talk things out fast and move to actual dating. This is a New York dating website for a mature crowd. More than 80% of users are college graduates, and a lot of them have successful careers going on. There perhaps isn’t a better place to join EliteSingles than in New York — here, people like this platform. People who are over 50, often feel misrepresented on OG dating platforms like Tinder. This is where OurTime comes in — the website targets older audience and offers mature matches, both for casual dating and serious relationships. It’s not a secret that the majority of online dating users are white. This makes people of other races feel misrepresented — and they create their community. BlackPeopleMeet is a go-to dating destination for African-Americans, but it’s also opened to people of different races, as soon as they want to enter a mixed relationship. This is perhaps the most popular New York dating site for casual sex. Here, users are matched based on their sexual preferences and characteristics of their bodies, including intimate parts. Users are free to upload nudes and use sexual vocabulary in the profiles. Members don’t expect a serious relationship — they are here to have fun. You can search here MILF or use the site as a shemale finder, any sexual desires are fulfilled here. Popular dating apps. Younger New Yorkers prefer using apps over sites. They are always on the go and only have time to date when they are commuting or have a break at work. Luckily, the majority of the website that we reviewed here have a mobile version. It’s one of the biggest dating websites, with 25 million users. The site has a strong worldwide community — you can meet people of different races and nationalities. In my experience, it’s one of the most diverse dating apps. However, it’s verification system is a bit problematic — the majority of website profiles are fake or inactive. Still, there is a good portion of regular visitors that put you at good odds. Pure’s mobile app is similar to its dating site NYC. The matching system is based on users’ location — the app looks for users nearby and offers the most compatible profiles. Like on the website, the messenger and profiles are deleted in 60 minutes, so you have an hour to arrange a meeting. Although Match is mostly known in its web version, its mobile app is pretty good, too. It’s not as fun to use as Pure — the feed can be heavy at times, but the overall functionality is similar to the full version. You have access to the feed, group chats, and messenger, as well as in-depth profile settings. A mobile version of the Elite Singles website works even better than a browser edition. The app has a customized feed where you can swipe on profiles that you like or not, and the messenger feels very native to mobile devices. Best bars to meet singles in New York. New York bars are one of the best in the US. They have a nice mix of that classy and casual feeling that makes them perfect to meet singles in New York. You can find a hookup here, or bring your date from the website. The Dead Rabbit Grocery and Grog. The Dead Rabbit is famous first and foremost for its thematic cocktails and custom flavors. It also offers one of the biggest collections of whiskeys, Irish drinks, and punches. The bar has a nice Irish spirit that gives a date a classy vibe. The place is old-fashioned and elegant — and surprisingly, pretty cheap. Cloud Social Rooftop Bar. To meet New York’s locals, you want to get as far away from Times Square as possible. St. Cloud Rooftop Restaurant and Bar is the only exception of this rule. This rooftop bar is located practically on the Times Square, and still, locals love it just as much as tourists do. At night, the atmosphere is great for romantic dates — you can enjoy a nice wine collection and look at NY lights. Barcade. Busy Brooklyn streets are fun to visit as a tourist, but they are also good for dating purposes. If you are a fan of vintage video games, you will have a lot to discuss with visitors of the Barcade. It’s a place that unites gaming geeks from all over the city. Also, now it has six locations all over the city, so you don’t have to commute all over the New York. McSorley’s Old Ale House. It’s the best place in the city to enjoy an ale and try high-quality alcohol. It’s pretty expensive, but Ale House is the definition of preferring quality over quantity. If you want to make an impression of a classy man, it’s the right spot for meeting your date. The White Horse Tavern. The White Horse Tavern is one of the most literary bars in the city. It gathers people who are passionate about literature and art, and it’s also a place where writers come to work and chill. Here, you can visit a writing meetup and even get a seat on some free workshops. The Ear Inn. Ear Inn attracts visitors by its movie screening and live music events. It’s an artistic spot that represents New York in its best art-house fashion. The bar was established in 1817, and it gained a reputation for being a go-to artistic location. It’s also the oldest bar of New York, so it’s worth visiting at least as an attraction. Dutch Kills Bar. This is a specialty cocktail bar with pro-class bartenders. Frequent Happy Hours are a nice bonus — you won’t have to pay too much for a date here. It’s popular among singles — partially, due to its nice prices, but also because of its convenient location. Find your hookup adventure in one hour. The application works quickly and simply — no long registrations or endless questionnaires, no social media links or photo albums. The algorithm uses end-to-end encryption and deletes profiles and chats in an hour after they start. Upload your favourite selfie, find the person who turns you on and start texting. You have one hour to arrange an adventure together. Trying out New York speed dating. You don’t have to look for love online necessarily. If you are still into real-life meetings, there is a fast option for you. Although I am generally not a fan of speed dating, it seems to work well in New York. Here, it’s not strange that people don’t have time to date, and speed dating events are more popular than anywhere else. On Speed Dating. On Speed Dating is a speed dating company that offers unique dating settings and quests. You can meet celebrity look-alikes, sort matches by their location, and discuss food preferences. The events can be adapted to your interests and romantic preferences. Sensory Speed Dating. Sensory Speed Dating matches people based on their senses. You will go through dates while being blindfolded, or without hearing your partner, or relying only on smell. Relying only on one of your senses makes a fuller dating experience and ensures that the choice isn’t based on visual characteristics. Speed NY Dating. If you’d like to have a romantic and chic speed date, this British-based dating provider might be your top choice. The events are held at classy hotels and restaurants, and the management is attentive about dating manners and dress-codes. Literary dating events. I Like Your Glasses is an innovative speed dating concept, organized in a bookstore cafe. Each participant has 10 ates, six minutes each, and members are chosen based on their book preferences. Also, you get discounts for book purchases and get a custom literary review. Male speed dating. Gay speed game is really of the top level in New York. Gay Professionals themes are common here. Also, men can participate in Millionaire Matchmaker events, where people are paired by professional matchmakers. New York Easy Dates. This is an experienced speed dating provide that has become legendary on the city’s romantic scene. The service allows you to choose the style of an event, browse available locations, and determine a theme. You can get 35 dates, three minutes each, or arrange longer meetings instead. NY Minute Dating. If you only have a minute to spare for your personal life, this service works perfectly for you. You can select potential matches by their ethnicity race, and age, and visit an event with people that already match your basic preferences. This way, you get shorter and cheaper dates, but the success chances are much higher. New York City Singles Events. You can sign up for New York Singles Events digest to constantly stay updated on new meetings. You can even sort the events by their themes, formats, and locations. This way, you wouldn’t have to scour for a new occasion whenever you need a date — it will find you automatically. New York City singles clubs. Also, you can find apps and websites that update you on the best clubs in New York. I already gave you a list of my favorite locations, but it’s nice to go out and find your own gems. In the beginning, ratings on TripAdvisor will suffice, but eventually, I’d recommend exploring digests and ratings created for locals by locals. New York City chat rooms. If you watched “You’ve Got Mail,” you might remember that the two New Yorkers meet in the online chatroom. Before they met personally, they participated in the group chatroom and instantly liked each other. Even if you are not sure about your looks or confidence, in chatroom, you can make a good impression by making funny jokes and witty puns. The best thing is, chatrooms offer free online dating NYC so that you can get s much practice as you would like. New York City personals. Dating personals websites allow you to meet New Yorkers with no exhausting registrations or matching algorithms. You see the ads with the meetup offers and direct contacts — no additional verification or compatibility charts. If you are in for this instant but risky type of meetup, you can start by visiting a NYC site such as ClassifiedAds, DoULike, and StrictlyPersonal.com. Dating in NY parks. New York isn’t typically a green city, but it has amazing green islands all over — NY parks are chill. Central Park is the first go-to option for meeting people — here, people like to go out for hiking and sports. Another spot is the Brooklyn Bridge part, one of the 84-acre parks with sporting events, gardens, yoga classes, and basketball competitions. It’s also a top picnic spot, so if you are into casual dates, it’s a must-visit place. Dating in New York volunteering communities. When I want my dates to be meaningful, I go to Volunteer Match — it’s a great platform that helps to find volunteer communities that handle school help, political organizations, and local farmers market. It’s a good way to find a match who cares about a bigger cause and shares your interest. Also, the first date isn’t likely to be awkward — you’ll have a lot of work on your hands, and a bunch of bonding activities, too. Becoming a member of a Book Club. New Yorkers enjoy being up to date with art news and literature trends, so you want to stay in the loop. The easiest way to meet a creative date is to go to book clubs or meetups. You can look for communities online or visit bookbars. Most of them are also locations for regular book meetups and author events. The book groups focus on diversity, social issues, art trends, tendencies, and inclusivity. Where can I find rich singles in NYC?

You can find them on British speed dates, or in classy old bars. Irish bars are typically great for meeting a premium crowd. However, they are also rather expensive — you’ll have to pay even for the entrance, not to mention the costs of a drink itself. Where do singles meet in NYC?

In NY, singles often meet in thematic bars where they can dance like Salsa and Huego, and book reading clubs with a specialized literary event, as well as on best dating sites in New York. How do I meet girls in NYC?

For one thing, you can walk the city streets and casually approach girls in parks or malls. Also, a good way to meet someone is by visiting galleries and museums — New Yorkers are into the arts. Concerts and shows are other examples of great locations for first meetings. Finally, you can join a gym membership — it will lend you a great first impression. Where can I meet hot guys in NYC?

Hot guys hang out in classy bars and sports establishments. I have seen a lot of good-looking guys in Freehold, a bar with the chill atmosphere, Houston Hall, or Mr. Purple. Where do millionaires hang out in NYC? You want to look for such top-tier matches in the premium locations in the premium NY districts. My top picks are Cantina Rooftop, Club Macanudo, and Castell Rooftop Lounge. How do I meet other singles?

Visit singles-only events, like speed dating or singles club. Online websites and chatrooms also create a great environment to get started with dating. Where should I go out in Brooklyn? Brooklyn clubs are ones of the best in the city. For me, it’s an ultimate clubbing location, with spots like Bushwick, Williamsburg, Crown Heights, Red Hook, and other fun clubs. Where can I find cougars in NYC?

The best location for cougar dating is cougar bars. My favorite spots for milf dating are Pretty Ricky’s, Loreley Beer Garden, Parkside Lounge, Whiskey Tavern. Where can I meet rich guys?

The traditional New York locations for meeting a rich date is millionaire matchmaking services, pubs, auction houses, first-rate golf classes, and tennis clubs. How do you find people to date?

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Sherri and Eileen helped me find the love of my life. To make the most of it in real New York fashion, you’re going to have to get really high – by heading to one of New York’s hundreds of amazing rooftop bars, gardens or romantic NYC restaurants. Head straight for The Roof, a rooftop paradise that boasts incredible views of the New York skyline and Central Park. It’s an ideal date venue no matter the weather with the covered terraces and tasteful décor. Alternatively, try the Cantor Roof Garden Bar at the Met (open May – Oct). Starting your date in the iconic museum and winding your way to the picturesque rooftop means enjoying true romance, New York dating style. I moved to Manhattan about a year ago and was meeting men at happy hour and online. I heard about the company through a coworker and looked into Elite Connections online and decided joined. Veronica and Eileen have matched me to some really good guys. I’ve recently started dating Jon exclusively and very happy. Having been single for 10 years I thought I had tried everything and was about to give up. A friend told me about Elite Connections matchmaking NYC and I went and met with Eileen. I read Elite Connections reviews and could see there were happy people in NYC dating through Elite, so I signed up. They’ve been great. I just moved to NYC and was really struggling to meet quality men. I really appreciate the help that the matchmakers at Elite gave me. I’ve met some really great guys and I’m only dating Jon now. After I move to America, I still needed to keep my Chinese heritage. I did research and talked with Sherri. My new wife is Chinese and I am very thankful to Elite and happily married. I was divorced a year ago and not into dating online. I work in Los Angeles sometimes so I decided to join a company that could match me in both locations. I checked into Elite Connections and it was listed as one of the top matchmaking service in NYC and also good recommendations in Los Angeles. I’ve be introduced to great women in both locations and hopefully I’ll be off the market soon. I joined with Eileen at Elite and think she’s the best matchmaker. Thanks for all your help Eileen, you have been really wonderful to work with. I just moved from LA and was really struggling to meet successful single men in NYC. I really appreciate the help that Elite gave me. I’ve met some really great guys and I’m only dating Jon now. I was very frustrated trying to date in NY. The online sites did not work well for me. A friend told me about Elite Connections and I signed up. They have some really quality NYC singles. Sherri and Eileen helped me find the love of my life. After 10 Years of Dating in New York, This Is What I’ve Learned. I should have known the date was going to be a disaster when he suggested we meet in Midtown. “Drinks by Penn Station—really?!” scoffed my friend Femi. In those days we used to say we got a nosebleed if we ventured above 14th Street. “Are you sure you want to go through with this?” If I did have any reservations, they were swiftly consumed by a burning curiosity. In my mind, Kenny was no ordinary tall, dark, and handsome stranger; he was six-foot-six with rippling muscles for goodness’ sake!

Nothing like the scrawny boys I’d dated back home in London. Having only lived in New York for about a year, I still regarded the men here like a zoologist observing a new species in the wild: utterly fascinated, but also acutely aware that I could be bitten in the ass at any moment. Learning to speak the language was the easy part, a simple matter of trading in the slang of my homeland for shiny, new American colloquialisms: Instead of “snogging,” I was now “making out.” (To this day I am still a little confused about the parameters of intimacy around “hooking up.” Does it involve sex or not?) Getting to grips with the finer points of the mating rituals in the city, however, would prove a lot tougher than picking up the vocabulary. What I did know from my limited research was that New York men were far more forward than their London counterparts and, like Kenny, many of them could sniff out a new girl in town from a mile away. “Is that a British accent I’m hearing?” he had said, unbuttoning my boot-cut 7 for All Mankind jeans with his eyes the moment we met. “Hold up, are you from Manchester?” His guess was close enough to get my attention, especially given the number of times I’d been mistaken for Australian in the booming din of the club that night. I spent the hour before hopelessly roaming the dance floor in search of Femi, who was promoting a neo-soul party in the Meatpacking District to supplement her underpaid internship at an ad agency downtown. The flirty banter of this good-looking bouncer couldn’t have come at a more opportune time. With his all-black uniform and dark sunglasses, Kenny had a brooding allure, something like Wesley Snipes in Blade. or at least that’s what I thought to myself as I slipped my number into his leather biker jacket on my way out. When Kenny showed up for our date the following Thursday in a saggy gray suit and tie, the overall impression was more secondhand car salesman than superhero. Under the too-bright recessed lighting of an anonymous hotel bar on Broadway, his overly manicured facial hair had a whiff of disingenuous creep, too. Still, I wanted to believe that there might be a kind soul hiding inside his billowy shell. “Chee-man, I brought this for you, just in case you get lost in the city,” he said, whipping out a subway map from his battered briefcase. I couldn’t believe it: He had me mistaken for some clueless British tourist!

Maybe I could forgive him for butchering my Nigerian name, but this awkward gesture seemed beyond the pale, unless the dog-eared MTA pamphlet was part of some ironic gag. Judging by his earnest expression, it wasn’t. To pivot away from this misstep, he hurriedly ordered us drinks—a Cosmo for me (because Sex and the City), a Jack Daniels and Coke for him—and then proceeded to rifle through a gigantic binder of handouts. It was in that moment, perched atop a wobbly chrome barstool, dressed in a spangly new jumpsuit from Topshop, that I realized the joke was on me: This date wasn’t really a date at all. Kenny was an energy salesman, and I was about to witness his 30-minute pitch. About 10 minutes into his rambling presentation, I plucked up the courage to end the charade. “I think there’s been some kind of misunderstanding. I don’t need a new energy provider, if that’s what this is about,” I said, doing my best to avoid eye contact. “I’m new to the city. I’m just trying to make friends.” Kenny put his pie charts to one side and gave me a sheepish grin; the shoulders of his oversize suit jacket were drooping with embarrassment. He knew he’d been busted. “Listen Chee-man, it’s not that I don’t find you attractive,” he said, pausing to clear his throat. “It’s just that I’m. I mean, I have a.” I didn’t need him to finish the sentence. I could guess what was coming next: This cheeky bugger had a girlfriend!

I contemplated the stack of hotel-branded matches sitting on the bar. Maybe burning a hole in this jerk’s polyester pants might make me feel better? Then again, Kenny really wasn’t worth the trouble. Besides, I was beginning to find his absurd shenanigans weirdly entertaining. In a city that was swarming with highly seasoned players—wolves in sheep’s clothing who would willingly steal your heart and/or your money—my date was a bumbling amateur hustler who couldn’t charm his way out of a paper bag. Now that we knew that the possibility of romance and apparently business was off the table, Kenny became visibly more relaxed. He also seemed emboldened to share all of his wildly inappropriate locker-room theories about European women. (I guess he figured he didn’t have anything to lose?) From what I could gather, Kenny had had precious little dating experience outside of his town in New Jersey; this girlfriend was likely a childhood sweetheart, and I was probably the first Londoner he’d taken for drinks. Then again, I was no relationship guru either. Aside from a few meaningless dates here and there, I’d yet to establish anything vaguely serious in New York. Kenny was for sure the first man I had met from Montclair, New Jersey, so he filled a very specific hole in my research in the same way that I did his. “You grew up in Europe, right?” he said, lowering his voice to a whisper. “I’ve heard girls over there are more, you know. freaky. is it true?” I almost choked on a maraschino cherry. “Because if you are that way inclined, I personally think that’s great.” His timing was comedic for all the wrong reasons. I laughed in his face. “Okay, I see that’s not your thing. But can I ask you one last favor? I don’t have any cash on me and my girlfriend is expecting me back on the next train to Jersey. Can you spot me my train ride home?” I stuffed the money in his baggy suit jacket pocket along with the subway map he brought and made him promise to never call me again. If $7 was enough to get this man out of my hair forever, then it was a small price to pay. Thinking back on that time more than a decade later, I find myself faced with a nagging question: If I could turn back the hands of time, would I wipe those ludicrous, frequently embarrassing misadventures from the record?

The short answer, surprisingly, is no. If there is one thing I’ve learned in my search for love in New York, it’s that dating in the city means expecting the unexpected. And that’s exactly what makes the experience both maddening and magical when you experience it for the very first time. I was reminded of that fact when one of my girlfriends called me last week. She just moved to New York from Martinique and had recently gone on a nightmare date with a socially awkward orthopedic surgeon she met on Bumble who used their seven-course tasting-menu dinner as an excuse to practice his broken French. Her hilarious story had me in stitches, though I was surprised to find that there was also a slight pang of FOMO in the pit of my stomach, too. I remembered being the one with the ridiculous stories to tell, the hilarious post-date dish sessions with friends, those crazy adventures that you never quite knew where they would lead. Thankfully, the feeling didn’t linger. Even though I once relished the high drama of those early romances, a precarious New York love life, with its pits and its peaks, its trap doors and springboards, wasn’t sustainable in the long run. At least not for me. The truth is, I’d found something that suited much better: A boyfriend who lives in London.

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